Why So Serious?

Have you ever been feeling under the weather and like you are not ever going to get better? That is how I have been feeling lately. A bit down, sleeping thru the day and coughing all night long. For lack of a better descriptive it blows

I came back to my home town in the first week of November. Brainerd, Minnesota a great place to grow up. I really wanted to come back home to reconnect with some old friends and regroup. I left here in 1987 and ventured to Des Moines Iowa, then to Spokane, Washington, Sierra Vista, Arizona, Rio Rancho, New Mexico, Peoria, Arizona, Austin, Texas and now Brainerd, Minnesota. Who goes to Minnesota in November? Me….I won't go to far in depth I believe I have stated I have cleaned up my act a bit.

My son has inspired me to play the guitar again. He has become such a virtuoso in such a small period of time. He passed me up in barely over a year and now has a wall of guitars. I am so proud of him. I am proud of all 4 of my kids. One of them will never know this and the other 3 don't hear it enough. I digress. I have been blessed with 4 very unique children as well as a couple of stellar mothers who have done an amazing job raising them.

I am here by the request of 2 very special people in my life Greg and Todd Johnson. We are aggressively picking up where we left off in 1985. Yes, I have not played music with these two brothers of mine for 40 years. How do you think we sound? We sound amazing. The communication I have with these two guys metaphysically is unbelievable. We are working at putting a show together and play this summer for our friends and family. I can't wait.

Well, since I got off the dope I haven't been feeling all that well. I am bragging by the way I have been on dope for so long I forgot how to be sober and I find myself being overly honest to the point of annoying people and even offending some. Well, that's the real me. My life has been scary and overly bizarre but most of all interesting. I have definitely loved several lives due to my personality being slightly out of control. Drugs, Weapons, Assaulting Police Officers, Jail, an Independent Record deal, many bands, Many Wives, 4 kids, 4 Police Raids, MANY fights none sanctioned, my home was raided by 4 people with guns put to my head, been in the trajectory of many, many guns both by criminals and police more than I can count and of course the most challenging thing in my life transitioning. What a life. I must say with all of what I have been through I am the cause of every bit of it. I was even surrounded by the Hells Angels from Oakland, California on January 5, 1994 in Spokane, Washington in a blizzard and had the pleasure of a rather rough conversation with Sonny Barger who loudly proclaimed and I quote, “Mother Fucker you just insulted the Hells Angels!” I thought that was an overstatement I nearly thanked the Charlie's Angels for hiring my band to entertain them. I was doing my job. Little did I know I would be jerked out of the back of a limo barefoot wearing a diaper with a bone around my neck and my face painted black in a blizzard, then surrounded by I suppose around a hundred of them and everyone from the club in a dark parking lot in the middle of a blizzard. I was barefoot if you can believe that and this was not the best situation to find yourself in. They didn't think my joke was as funny as I did. Oddly, all I could think of to do was remind them I had made them 10,000 dollars for their new Spokane Chapter, Sonny said, “We don't need your fucking money.” He didn't give it back to me I should mention. I said, “OK Sonny, I am sorry, it was a joke.” He said, “Get the fuck out of here!” I said, “Sonny, this is my club!” He countered, “Not tonight it isn't!” I admit I was pretty frightened and I agreed to leave my club. It seemed like a pretty good deal at the time. They let me walk out of that huge circle unscathed and I walked home in a blizzard barefoot, in my diaper with the black face and the bone around my neck. I lived down town but I still can't believe I have feet. Ha the Police pulled up beside me and said, “Hey is everything OK? ‘ I said, “No, not really.” I thought they were gonna give me a ride but they didn't want any part of that and just kept going. What a deal and it's a totally true story. Ughhhhh. How did I get here? Good question…

Ok so, since I have been back to Minnesota I have been to St Joseph's Hospital 3 times once a month. The first time I was diagnosed with Pulmonary Embolisms caused from my hormones. Second time I was diagnosed with Walking Pneumonia and the third time was Asthma. How can that even be possible. I trust St Joseph's Hospital because I was born there 57 years ago and look how good I turned out. Ha.

Anyway, I am confused. (Obviously) How I can still be feeling under the weather with a relentless cough. It blows. I have just finished my second cup of Chicken Broth, taken a puff of my inhaler, taking my Steroid and hormones and taken another pill from my second Z pack. I still feel shitty. Just ask me how bad I want to go back to smoking dope, not at all. Each day gets easier and easier to stay away. I am quitting by myself I don't believe in sitting in a circle and saying, “Hi, I am Breezy, I am a Tranny Drug Addict.” Who wants to hear or see that? Who wants to do that? Not me. It's important to me that I keep these issues privàte.

Anyway I hope to get over this shit soon. It really sucks. How long will this shit hang on me. Ughhhhh.